The Big 5-0

5 things I learned in my 50's

Hi! Are you 50 or maybe approaching 50? You’re in the right place.

I’m 56 and have some perspective on the big day. Isn’t hindsight great?

Here’s 5 things I learned in my 50’s:

1. I’m still the same me

   I think we’ve all heard this one, “age is a mindset, not a number” and let’s face it, when we’re still young it’s easy to say. When I was approaching 50 I experienced something new. My Birthday had gone from a day I looked forward to, to day I was neutral about, to a day I was flat out dreading. I never cared about my age. Who was I turning into? 50 seemed like an imaginary dividing line between young and old. Maybe you can relate? I felt dread up until and even the day I turned 50. The very next day, I realized I’m still me. It sounds so simple, but the 50’s aren’t some foreign land. You’ll be navigating it with someone you know well: yourself! Age truly is a mindset. Six years past 50, I’m here to tell you the 50’s are great. Instead of dread, I realized the 50’s brought me peace.

2. 50 is the new 50

   We’ve all heard the sayings, “30 is the new 20!” “40 is the new 30!” “50 is the new 40!” What if instead of looking backwards, we stood right where we are. 50 is the new 50!! That’s a fact. It’s not our Mama’s 50 or our Grandma’s 50. Our 50 is a whole different breed. Humans are living to the oldest ages ever. We truly may only be half way through this thing called life. It’s a great time to see where you are

   

   Photo by Behzad Ghaffarian on Unsplash

   . Upon reflection, you’ll find one of two things. The first being, you realize you really like this version of yourself. You have created a solid life and are able to stand strong in it. The second being, you want things to be different. The beautiful thing is you still have time. Who is it that you want to be? What are a few small things you can change to lead you down the path to the bigger change?

3. Friendships are fewer but deeper

   In younger decades, as a parent of 5, many of my friends were my kid’s friend’s parents. They were from sports or school. Some of those friendships have stood the test of time. Others truly were friendships for a season. It takes some intention to form friendships once the kids are grown. What I’m discovering in my 50’s is that these friendships of intention rather than circumstances are deeper.

4. There is a depth of love

   My husband and I got married at age 21 & 22. We’ve been together longer than not. There were plenty of rocky times along the road, but we kept choosing each other. This is the decade where we are seeing the true fruit of all of that choosing. It honestly feels like a second chance with my same love. I realize everyone isn’t in this same boat. Many have navigated a divorce along the way. What I’m seeing from friends who are on their second or third long term relationship is the same thing!! There is a depth of love in this new relationship that wasn’t there in previous ones. Could it be possible that this depth is related to life experience? It’s a real benefit to aging.

5. I’m kinder to myself

   This may seem strange at first thought. However, I can tell you as someone who bounced around the scale my entire adult life, for the first time ever I like myself. I’m tired of striving for some imagined happiness at a lower number on the scale. In fact, I’m okay with not being my thinnest. I now care about feeling better. Things that are important to me: sleep, moving my body for fun, eating for fuel 90% of the time and eating for joy the other 10%. I love a good grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup or spaghetti and garlic bread. So guess what happened in my 50’s? I stopped feeling like I’ve failed when I eat those things, and instead truly savor and enjoy them. I got rid of my skinny jeans. I bought a bigger size and guess what? No one cares. Except for me. I can sit with comfort. :)

What lessons have you learned as you’ve aged? Share the good in the comments.