Women (+ Men) Without Wine

Culture + Drinking

Stacking Days

This is a bonus post. I typically only post twice a week, but have an invitation for you.

Would you like to join me for a Dry January? Lately, I find myself questioning my relationship with alcohol. This isn’t new. The past few years, I’ve dabbled in the sober curious movement. I participated in two Dry Januarys. Each time, I’ve made it through the month, but once February comes, I easily slip right back into having a glass of wine in the evening. I’m hoping to make these habits last longer this year.

What is Sober Curious? According to Very Well Mind, “Unlike sobriety, which is often a lifestyle chosen as a result of alcoholism or alcohol use disorder, sober curiosity is often defined as having the option to choose, to question, or to change your drinking habits for health-focused reasons (mental and/or physical). The sober curious movement has encouraged individuals to recognize the often-unhealthy habits that are associated with alcohol.” I’ve also seen this category defined as “grey area” drinkers.

I fall into the Sober Curious category. For me, the motivation behind drinking is twofold, the first part being I like the ritual and experience of sharing a glass of wine with my husband or friends; talking and relaxing at the end of our day. This seems okay to me. Intentional. Joyful. The second piece of it is when I use a glass or two of wine to escape feelings I don’t want to feel. I didn’t used to do this. In fact, I never really liked drinking. Mostly because I’m not good at it. I have a low tolerance for alcohol. Two drinks is about all I can handle. I didn’t get in the habit of “wine o’clock” until I was 40. I find I like the escape in the moment, but I hate how I feel in the morning. This is why I really want to change.

Overall, I am a healthy person. I exercise regularly and eat intentionally (for the most part.) The wine seems counter to my otherwise healthy lifestyle.

Alcohol companies have done an incredible job marketing their product. Alcohol has been seemlessly connected with socializing & relaxation. Alcohol is also addictive. The Mommy/Wine culture is astounding in the US. Women are being conditioned to believe we need wine to survive motherhood. What we really need is support and help to lessen the load on our shoulders. We’ve wandered into the wine in the evening routine and have found ourselves suddenly needing it.

I can share a couple of things that have helped me to stay on track:

1. Tell someone: Accountability can help keep you on track, when you’d otherwise derail.

2. Replace the ritual: If you’re someone like me who likes the experience and ritual of relaxing with a glass of wine, you may need to find a replacement ritual. Maybe it’s going for a walk in the evening? Doing yoga? Journaling? Nightly gametime? These are just a few I can think of off the top of my head.

3. Discover the alcohol-free beverage(s) that work for you. Personally, I find when I’m at home, a cup of hot tea in the evening is a great substitution. When I’m out, I find cranberry juice with soda water is easy to order. Many restaurants are also adding mocktails to their menus as the sober-curious & sobriety movement becomes more and more normalized.

4. Try some over the counter non-alcoholic beverages. There are an ever growing variety of alcohol free beverages available. My favorite non-alcoholic wine is Tost rose. It tastes great & looks pretty too.

5. Stack your days. Start with 1. Add another. And another. Looking at a week or a month can feel overwhelming. Instead look at each day as you’re in it.

6. Follow some Sober living accounts on social media. There are many out there. It’ll help you feel less alone & inspired to stay the course. One of my favorites is Sober in Central Park on instagram. Another great one for women is Sober Sis.

You may find the information in this article helpful: How to Let Dry January Help You Drink Less in 2024

If you’re participating in Dry January (or longer!) let me know in the comments. Let’s support one another on this journey.

Xo,

Kathi

P.S. If you’ve enjoyed reading, send some hearts (click the ❤️), comment 💬 or restack🔁 on Substack or share on social media. Thanks so much!! Xo